I was on the fast track. It was just a little over a year since I was hired for an entry level position with a medical management company and I was promoted to executive status. I loved my job. I got to travel and meet and work with wonderful people. I was good a managing others and excelled at my job.
Corporate headquarters was on Madison Avenue in New York City. We had just completed another three day meeting when I was summoned into the office of our SVP of Marketing. “I need to speak with you”, she said. “You need to change the way you dress. It is inappropriate.”
“What?” I replied. I had a closet full of Calvin Klein and Armani suits. “What do you mean inappropriate?” I asked.
“You show too much cleavage and it’s not appropriate as an executive of this company.”
Well, others might have responded sheepishly that they would certainly address the issue. I just looked at her in disbelief. What was she saying? My attire was certainly NOT offensive. (Maybe in retrospect, it was to HER.) My suits were professional and attractive. I had enough self-confidence to dismiss this conversation as “her issue”. Was she jealous? Was she insinuating that I was successful because I was flaunting myself sexually? Not “MY issue”. I never changed one item of clothing to please her. I continued to dress to please myself.
Fast forward a few years and I was at the pinnacle of my career. I am in Chicago at the corporate headquarters of a Fortune 500 company interviewing for CEO of one of their healthcare companies. I wore my power red suit. This was my final interview in a long drawn out interview process and I wanted to close the deal. A woman approached me as I was waiting for my meeting and whispered. “Women don’t wear red here. It’s not appropriate.” What? Are we back with Nathaniel Hawthorne feeling the shame of the Scarlett Letter?
I got the job despite the red suit, but it has never ceased to amaze me how as women we are always walking a fine line when it comes to professional image and attire. If we wear pants, we are choosing a more masculine appearance and putting our femininity aside. Is this what it takes in some corporate cultures to succeed?
If we wear attractive appropriate feminine clothing, we are often called on the carpet for using our sexuality to advance our careers.
Should we wear high heels or not? Pants or skirts? Should our hemlines be above or below the knee?
Have we made any progress in this area? Can’t we just be our authentic selves and wear what feels comfortable and professional?
After all, wasn’t Hilary Clinton chastised for always wearing pant suits during the campaign? Was she being judged on her attire more than her talent? And what does all the criticism of Michelle Obama’s wardrobe have to do with her accomplishments?
Thank God for dress down days. Then we all get to wear jeans, no questions asked.
Ditto! Ditto! With us women, our dress is all an expression of our personalities. Some like light colors, some like dark. Some like cute blouses, some prefer traditional. Some can’t go without heels (like me) and some love traditional flats. Why modify ourselves? I say as long as we’re not inappropriate, we should feel free to be who we are!
Here’s the thing – we all have choices. If a woman wants to “be herself” in her clothing choice, that’s fine – its her choice and it may prove to have consequences, depending on the environment she’s in. To get ahead, I believe it’s wise to assess the culture in your company and decide on your personal best course of attire.
Good piece, Bonnie. They say that clothes make the man, but I guess it’s even more true that women bear the brunt of that remark.
I always felt it was much more important to get to know the person inside the clothes rather than what kind of outfit they are wearing.
Keep up the good work.
Tom
Interesting post. I think we have to look at the circumstances and the company we’re working for. Just because we’re women doesn’t give us a right to flaunt the rules or traditions. What about men who don’t care about wearing suits and ties because “It doesn’t fit their personailties?” Or they’d like to wear a gaudy print shirt with striped jacket because that’s them. But it doesn’t fit the dress code of the company so they fall into line.
I think we women sometimes like to take advantage of the fact that we’re women to break the rules. Yes, there is an extreme in the other direction, too, when we feel forced to wear a uniform type of style that may not be necessary.
I have a seasonal job at a supermarket deli. I have to wear a red shirt and brown apron over pants (that can’t be jeans)and a cap with store name on it. That’s not me. Do I flaunt the rules and decide to dress in what is me? Not if I want to keep the job.
So there is a happy medium in all of this. And don’t get me started on the “too tight,” “too short,” or “too low.” When the dress detracts from your message, you’re giving the wrong message!
Great post, Bonnie! It reminds me of a small company I worked at shortly after I got married that specifically wrote in the dress code policy that women could not wear socks. I should have known instantly that this was not the company for me, but being young and unsure of my skills at the time, I took the job. Suffice it to say, I left in less than three months. What a nightmare that place was. The no socks rule was just the tip of the iceberg in terms of bizarreness.
When I worked for AT&T early in my career, the dress code was casual everyday. I wore jeans everyday and loved it. The executives’ view was that by allowing everyone to dress casually, there was less of a perception of hierarchy. The division I worked in was a “flat organization”. It actually worked really well. It was painful for me to go back to business casual when I left AT&T. I don’t think I could ever go back to work in a company that requires formal business attire.
That’s just one more reason that I love working from home now. No one sees me and I wear what I want! It’s a rare day I have to dress up (and these days, that means something other than a T-shirt and shorts). 😉
Ditto! Ditto! With us women, our dress is all an expression of our personalities. Some like light colors, some like dark. Some like cute blouses, some prefer traditional. Some can’t go without heels (like me) and some love traditional flats. Why modify ourselves? I say as long as we’re not inappropriate, we should feel free to be who we are!
Interesting read. I’ve faced the same dilemma many times in my career too. So let me pose to you a question I’ve been tweeting on Twitter: which is most important: results, reputation, or appearance?
Nancy,
I feel that results, reputation and appearance are all important for a successful career. It’s all part of your personal brand.
I love the post. I think it’s really interesting that you still seemed to excel despite any concerns about your clothing. In my opinion it just proves that a detail like a red power suit instead of a black one doesn’t make that much of a difference. If you’re ready to take on the world, you’re going to do it. No matter what people say about your Armani suits.